Because you still feel the pain of the hurt, you may wonder if you’ve fully forgiven. How to Handle the Things You Hate But Can't Change, Teaching Teens about Rape Culture and Modesty, 3 Life Hacks That Will Revolutionize Your Relationships, The believers’ eternal blessings in union with the Son. How can you forgive your husband when he continues to be insensitive to your needs? A continual celebration of love, adoration, respect, and delight in each other. To say a little more on this, from my studies, my understanding on this is that God has chosen to not keep our sins before him but has chosen to cover them with the blood of Christ. However, forgiveness doesn’t hinge on either of these. God knew all this, and He created us anyway. I truly just want to be free from the hurt and pain and that people will just allow and accept that I have forgiven them from the pain they have caused me and just simply leave me alone and not bother me. I feel like God brings us closer to certain people because these are the people we need in our lives right now. Click here to learn more of how information about your visit to this site is tracked and used. God allows pain and suffering and evil because He has a plan, and He’s working His plan. I don’t know if that makes any sense really, but that is what it feels like to me. Let’s see, then, why Jehovah feels hurt when we don’t do what he says. I’m sorry to hear of your struggle. I am adding you to my prayer list, for I know only God my Father can truly heal your pain. I’m so glad my articles have been timely for you. You can follow Sue on Twitter @suebohlin. Fast forward a few months and he started guarding his phone again. My family has asked me to make peace but it’s tough. So sad to know your heart is getting hurt in this relationship that means so much to you. […] my last post, we looked at if it was necessary or even possible to forgive someone who continues to hurt […]. Some of it comes from sinful human hearts; some of it comes from the demonic realm, angels who also said no to God and became devils. It could be that she does not totally understand how or why her actions are negatively impacting you. I can’t accept that such girl will be getting married to my cousin and be part of our family. Thanks for commenting Amy. LJ, that is so sweet of you to say. But instead of teaching their boys to respect women as a whole person and a fellow child of God, they were just taught to never get caught looking. Perhaps that starts with what you define as forgiveness. If he totally didn’t remember, what would be the need for any payment (i.e., Christ’s payment) for our sins? Their intentions may be good, but they are hard to bear. I had tried to forget and forgive all those things. Second point of light: evil was not created or caused by God The Bible is clear: God is not the author of evil. The end result is that He is redeeming and restoring all the evil, pain and suffering of this sin-sick world. But I don’t get good vibes from her. Should you be expected, or is it possible, to forgive when someone keeps hurting you? Eventually, totally worn out, I asked God why He kept allowing this relationship to hurt me so much. Prayer: Lord, I don’t know why this is happening, but I pray that through this situation, I can lead someone to you. Sue also serves on the board of Living Hope Ministries, a Christ-centered organization that helps people struggling with unwanted homosexuality and the family members of those with same-sex attractions. Enforcing boundaries, or defining what behaviors you will allow yourself to be around, doesn’t mean being spiteful to the offender. Unfortunately, this verse is misunderstood to mean God forgets our sin. At that point I believe we will agree, as we look back on evil, pain and suffering on earth, that it was so, so worth it. This simply is not biblical. Commentary for Hebrews 8:12 in the NET says this segment is pointing to the changes believers of the New Covenant can experience as compared to the Old Covenant which had repeated offerings for the penalty of sin. The impact is exactly the same because he has broken his vows to love, honor, and cherish YOU. It’s also tough when the offender doesn’t apologize or agree they’ve done wrong. “If I forgive him,” you may say, “he’ll only hurt me again.”. It seems proven god why did you allow people to hurt me Not everone is as lucky as you are, informations Good Morning Enjoy Your Thursday God Bless s and god bless her soul God bless her soul imaginedragons 60 Heartfelt Sympathy And Matthew 16 26 Inspirational Image contributed by. . However, when someone has hurt us, we need the Holy Spirit’s power to respond in kindness. Check out this post for your answer https://www.arenewedlife.com/4-signs-youve-really-forgiven-and-how-to-get-there/. Forgiveness happens in your heart and is lived out by not having spite toward the other person. I really need God’s help every time she hurts me because when she does I struggle between the pain of the hurt and forgiveness. We’ll look at this in my next post. He knew Adam would open the door to all kinds of evil and suffering, and He allowed Adam to do it anyway. Until past year. Another reason God might allow Satan or his demons to attack is to build our maturity. 2. But I fear this behavior is a precursor to cheating and I don’t know what would’ve happened had I not found out. She also loves speaking for MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) and Stonecroft Ministries (Christian Women's Clubs) on the topic How to Handle the Things You Hate But Can't Change, based on her lifelong experience as a polio survivor. My apologies. Thank you for another one of these. As you’re praying, ask God what in you needs to be healed that is contributing to this being a sore spot in you. ), […] What you don’t get is a heart that really loves, regardless of relationship difficulties. Coming up with the words to pray for someone who has hurt you can be hard. God does not want you to go after these people, because He has someone much better in store. He admits she caught his eye a year and a half ago. 1:4-5) and creating a Bride for His eternal Son (Rev. I can build my world without You.” 5:21), so that when He died, our sin died with Him. How you use what is provided here is at your own risk. Yes, we have pleased Him by surrendering our lives to Him, but there are times we go against what He wants us to do. Some people think that you don’t. I often smile at the seemingly ‘accidental perfect timing’ of these arriving in my newsfeed. He did it anyway. God uses suffering to cleanse us, to mature us, to burn up shallowness. Because He knew the end result was worth it. The end result is that He is redeeming and restoring all the evil, pain and suffering of this sin-sick world. I am having a difficult time in my life. You explained why we should forgive, but not actually how to do this? When someone hurts you, allow yourself to feel the emotions. Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble;" it's good to know that we follow a Savior who really gets it – who sees this fallen world for what it is, and who (contrary to many other religious leaders) tells us the truth about it. :-) ). He took our sin into Himself, actually becoming our sin (2 Cor. There is no divine “Bibbity-Bobbity-Boo.”. “I will give them a heart to know that I am the Lord, and they shall be my people and I will be their God, for they shall return to me with their whole heart” (Jeremiah 24:7). And, holding hostility toward the other person serves as a support for that fortified wall. And if Satan can get us to doubt God’s goodness, we stand on the edge of a life that uses our anger to justify sin.. Fathers, Feelings, and Faith. That, actually, was too much to explain in one post, so I put it in the next one. If you are constantly thinking about how people mistreat you and feeling sorry for yourself you will get depressed, you will have lethargy and host of other issues. Thank you very much for this post it was very helpful. Why does God allow suffering to continue? He uses pain as His instrument to shape us into the image of His Son (Rom. Every time a personal tragedy, plague or natural disaster occurs, many have the real and understandable questions: why did God allow this? Brokenhearted, I am so sorry to hear of your pain. Before you give up, consider seeing a therapist that is skilled in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Is it really loving to allow someone to remain in their sin? I read many of your articles and many of them feel as if they are specifically addressed to me and my current struggle. People always say you can’t really explain why you feel a certain way about someone. 8:28-29). Please don’t minimize what he has done. This requires dependence on God through prayer and the use of the Word of God. The counsel is: Keep God’s attributes in living, dynamic relation to each other. Perhaps, he’s called you to love a difficult person. She loves teaching women and laughing, and if those two can be combined, all the better. Unfortunately, we do sometimes have to remind others repeatedly that what they are doing hurts us. (Please see my article The Value of Suffering.) Randy: I would say God doesn’t do that. He knew that every human being would be born with a compulsion to reject Him, to live disconnected from Him, independent from Him—something like spiritual HIV+, insuring a death sentence. This is a clue that you’re believing a common myth about forgiveness — that forgiving means condoning the other person’s actions. It took me a few months to process it all but I feel like I did forgive him. This is probably the biggest question, and the biggest obstacle to trusting God, in Christianity. Instead, the Son left heaven, wrapped Himself in human flesh, and came to earth where He lived a perfect, sinless life. Here are 5 Things To Do When People Hurt You… You are such a blessing to us believers that are explanation challenged. Same bitter thoughts come. There was fighting with cousin regarding the same and he thought it was my problem to think that way. One reason forgiveness is tough is because it seems you must keep up your guard so you won’t get hurt again. He is almighty. The Bible says that some people who said they loved God made “him feel hurt.” Yes, “they pained” God! Your past patterns of dealing with being hurt are not those you want to continue. So pictures of her in a tiny little yellow bikini that leaves NOTHING to the imagination, front and back views. So why does He let innocent people—especially children, for heaven’s sake—suffer? In Jesus’ name, Amen. The New English Translation (NET), which strives to be very literal in it’s translation, quotes Jeremiah as saying: “For I will forgive their sin and will no longer call to mind the wrong they have done.”. At some point Father God decided to create mankind and draw us into His circle of love, adopting us as sons (Eph. Man said, “I don’t need You, God. It only means you have not healed from the hurt. It’s a legitimate question, and it deserves a thoughtful answer that honors the amount of pain attached to it. Evil was unleashed by Adam when he disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden (Gen. 3) and it has been causing havoc, pain and suffering ever since. But most disturbing is he had been checking out a women from work’s instagram page with (surprise, surprise) is full of lots of gym selfies showing ample cleavage AND she competes in bikini fitness shows. Don’t rush or force it. The one good thing that has come out of this is we recognize the need to teach our 3 sons differently than my husband and his brothers were taught. Every single step. You can study it more by going here: https://net.bible.org/#!bible/Hebrews+8:6. Because He knew the end result was worth it. (See Ephesians 4:32.). It’s deciding that you have no right to stab them with your words, actions, or thoughts. But if you lean on God when others mistreat you and remember Christ as your example in suffering you … Oh HurtAgain, I can hear your pain! The point, though, for this article is that God does not call us to ignore the consequences of someone’s sin because we have forgiven. . God has no magic wand that instantly transforms us from something broken and dirty (and we are far more broken and dirty than we have any idea) into something whole and beautiful. She provides hope and healing for damaged lives, training you to love yourself, feel connected to others, and walk in the good God has planned for your life. She dint like few things and tried to hurt me emotionally later. The process of removing sin and being reconciled is dependent on people humbly responding to God and each other. Hi Vandy, Perhaps, he’s called you to wait on him. The specifics of your situation cannot be known by the authors or administrators of this site. When someone continues to hurt you or has never sincerely apologized, your task of forgiving can take a while. Our culture points to our pain as proof that God doesn’t exist; but the devil uses our pain to convince us that God doesn’t care. Doesn’t the Bible say we should forgive and forget others’ offenses? Give her what she needs to be able to trust you more but to also stand up for herself where needed. I agree with you, it is hard to keep that in mind. Tawnya Kordenbrock is a licensed professional clinical counselor and an online coach. That is something I can never seem to keep in mind. A year ago I discovered his online viewing of “workout videos” of young fit women and lots of porn as well. I know I will be worried it will happen again. Even more, there are plenty of verses that refer to God forgiving but still allowing consequences to come upon people. Any commissions I receive will help offset the costs. This understanding requires faith which is desired by God. Julia: What would you say to someone who’s experiencing hard things, some sort of trial, and they believe that God put these things purposefully in their life just to hurt them? Please tell me how to forget and forgive. Also, I would get some help with how you approach the gf about your feelings. In order for us to choose to return His love, we needed to be free to choose NOT to love Him. Because He knew the end result was worth it. Paul went to Macedonia saying, “God had called us to preach the gospel (in Macedonia).” (Act 16:10) This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in … My husband is constantly hurting me. Also, thanks so much for your question. Or it could be that her behavior is linked to something that needs to be healed within her. Being better able to communicate to her may help her to see your hurt. I feel like we may need counseling but I can’t find any Christian counselors in our area that aren’t attached to a specific church. I have been married for 15 years to the love of my life. But the Father raised Him from the dead, and He is alive at His Father’s right hand right now in heaven. The God of light and life, of love and truth, knew that all those things are found only in Him; He knew that to reject Him meant choosing darkness and death, isolation and deception. Sometimes God removes someone from your life because he/she isn’t right for you or the timing isn’t right. As Christians, we must realise that having sold out our hearts to God and made the decision to follow Him, it doesn’t exempt us from hurting God. I pray she would feel your presence right now. Boundaries that will keep us function healthily. […] Of course it is tough when the pain continues. He has sexually given himself over to other women. What you have experienced is repeated betrayal. Here’s how to forgive someone who has hurt you emotionally. How to Not Turn Out Like Your Parents: Pitfalls to Avoid, Why Journaling Is Important for Emotional Health, How to Forgive Someone Who Keeps Hurting You, https://net.bible.org/#!bible/Hebrews+8:6, https://www.arenewedlife.com/4-signs-youve-really-forgiven-and-how-to-get-there/, https://www.arenewedlife.com/5-keys-to-assertiveness/, https://www.arenewedlife.com/2-reasons-you-cant-keep-healthy-boundaries/, 4 Signs You've Really Forgiven (and How to Get There) - A Renewed Life, Letting Go of the Pain of Your Child's Life - A Renewed Life, When Anger Overwhelms You – praiseworthywoman.com, Become More Like Jesus But Avoid This Huge Mistake - A Renewed Life. You just need to be patient. The alternative would be the equivalent to making a phone say, “Good morning, I love you.” The words might be there but there is no heart and no choice behind them—they are nothing more than the result of a programming code. […]. (I Peter 1:7). Answer is NO. 19:7), a fit companion who would reign with the Lamb (Rev. This verse is a quote from Jeremiah 31:31-34. I do also know that I am a human being who has sinned in my life and one thing about me is that I do not mind sharing with the world at large all I have done, the bad and the ugly. I pray he will be willing to put the work in that’s needed to repair this horrific tear he has created in your relationship. I have been hurt so many times and it seems as if god lets these people who have made me suffer so much into depression and suicidal thoughts and people just get away with this. Doesn’t He care? I’m so sad for you. Actually, God does say for us to forgive just as he has forgiven us. But man rebelled against God. And my pain is nothing compared to the horrific suffering of millions around the world. Some days are very good and others not so. What the first Adam messed up, Jesus the Second Adam corrected. (And if I didn’t have to travel to the other side of the world, I would book a few sessions with you. I appreciate the opportunity to get this cleared up, because I know good Christians, especially women, struggle to stand up for themselves because they believe the right thing to do is to forget offenses. Karine, I’m glad you found the article helpful. I’m sure it’s hard to figure out how you’re going to be around them yet still honor your emotions. She is happily married to Dr. Ray Bohlin, writer and speaker on faith and science with Probe Ministries, and they have two grown sons. My first suggestion is to find someone to vent to who can understand and sympathize with what this has meant to you. If you hurt enough to ask such questions, you deserve an answer. Every day of His earthly life, He suffered as a human, limiting Himself to a body that would get tired, hungry, thirsty and dirty. Not those you want to away with life really explain why you feel this... 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